I recently returned back to work after being home with my babies for 12 weeks. In the weeks leading up to my return I went through the expected range of emotions, sadness to be leaving my babies and guilt for being a working mom. I have been dealing with this angst for over two years – work or stay home? On one hand I want to spend as much time as possible with the girls, I mean they aren’t this little forever! On the other hand I want to show them that they too can have a career and a family.
Don’t get me wrong, being a stay at home mom is a job just like any corporate ladder climbing job, and some could argue that it’s even harder. I kept both girls home a few days a week during my leave and managing a toddler and infant is no easy task. I stressed myself out planning activities and events to keep my toddler happy and active and then felt defeated when she melted down and didn’t want to do what I had planned. There were moments that I told myself there was no way I could do this full time. Kuddos to all you Stay At Home Mommies!
When I’m working there’s always this cloud looming over my head, the FOMO cloud – fear of missing out. Missing out on the daily giggles and smiles and excitement in their eyes when they see the bunnies hop through our back yard. Let’s be honest, in today’s corporate world a healthy work/life balance is rare. No matter how hard we try to unplug, with technology constantly evolving we’re always “on.” It’s created this workplace culture of being available anytime, anywhere and in a client-services world I find that there is an increasing expectation for having responses ASAP which in turn extend our “office hours” to 24/7. This article, from Brittany at OurHomeMadeEasy, was a pretty interesting find, and spot on with the way I feel. Give it a read if you have a minute: Defining success is different now
I mind fight myself daily over what the best decision is for the girls, our family and, well, for me. I have a very supportive husband who would be OK with whatever I choose to do, work or stay home, but that makes the decision that much harder sometimes.
I hope that, someday, my girls will feel that I’ve made the right decisions for them.